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| i haven't written a story in a long time and have requests to write. all my stories are true and i love to write but i don't type and when i do i only type with one finger and it takes a long time (also i don't spell very well). i used to have another blog but i printed out all my entries for my children and grands to read after i leave this life and deleted my blog. i want to talk about two terry's in my life and center mostly tonight on my cousin terry and a little on my friend terry. cousin terry and i were two years apart and i was the older one. we went to school together and terry was always larger in size than most of the whole elementary school, first through the eight grade, but all the kids would pick on him and he would not fight back and i would always take up for him (i always to this day have a very low opinion for bullies, wife abusers and people who abuse children and even today i will get involved) most of the time the people you meet in life you will either like them or dislike them he was the kind of person that you couldn't help but to like the first time you met him. i remember one time we both got a job at a plant in greenville sc that employed over 2000 employees and i had a nice green and white coop-deville cad. we would drive from home to work about 35 miles and a few miles from town we would stop and i would get into the back seat and he would put on one of these greyhound bus hats and drive to the front entrance, get out and open the door for me wait till i got out close the door, get back in and drive to the back of the parking lot and come into work and after work come and pick me up at the end of shift we done this for a few days and the employees that didn't know me thought i was a big executive and i only made a hourly wage. but both terries had a fatal probleum they were both extremely over weight. they used to have a all you can eat chain in our area at the call duff's , but are now closed in this area i don't know if they are around in other states or not. but both terries worked at a job close to one of the duff's which they visited every day at lunch for about two weeks and at about the end of the second week the manager called both to the side and asked them to please not come back because of the amount of food that they consumed. my friend terry went to a amusement park, i forgot the name but they had a ride called magic mountain that you had to walk up a long set of stairs and they would pull a safety bar over you and you would ride down so he got to the top, sat down and he was so big the bar wouldn't go over his stomach and he had to walk back down the same way he came up and he said that was the most embarassing moments in his life. the doctors warned him about his weight but he didn't listen and had to have a heart transplant and is very limited to what he can do. i need to finish up this part because it is getting to long. terry was over 300 pounds when hit his late teens and the doctors started warning him about his weight and by the time he hit 40 he was over 500 hundred pounds and i could write a series of books about terry and my experiences during that time but i got a call that he was in the hospital and had only a couple of days to live. let me say something about death i was introduced to death at a very young age i started to learn and it became a progressive knowledge that i saw death as a enemy to some and a friend to others. my dads mother died and he didn't go to her funeral because he couldn't deal with death and my brother didn't go to our dad's funeral because he couldn' deal with death and i saw it so many times through the years. i have watched many die over the years some by the bedside, some on the roadside and other at hospitals and as i watched i saw that death was friend to some and to others a enemy. when i got there i sat and talked with him and we shared stories his mom and dad had a hard time staying in the room and people would tell him he would get better but he wanted me there because he knew in a matter of a few hours he would be gone and he knew i would tell him the truth. we would talk and laugh at the thing that we did just like nothing was wrong. i believe terry didn't want his last few days with people in and out of his room all day with sad faces, tears in their eyes and he commented on that (I AM NOT SAYING IT IS WRONG TO BE SAD AT THE LOSS OF A LOVE ONE) but we shared and traded stories and experiences and carry on for precious few hours i believe on my death bed i would want joy and laughter instead of doom and gloom i think on the third night his kidneys shut down and he was so large that they put towels and blankets on him because of all the fluids pouring out of his pours about daylight on the third day i was exhausted that i was going to go lie down for a couple of hours i went home and got a call he was screaming with pain with no kind of relief before i got back to the hospital his friend had come and he was in pain no more part two will be about death the enemy concerning the lawyer. i just turned 60 and i believe i am in a lot better shape than some teenagers and i look back and see how blessed that i am a lot of my friends are either gone or in terrible health i would like to go back to alaska one more time and walk some of the beautiful trails before death knocks on my door. i read a lot of blogs and see so many people in their forties with many health problems so my advice is embrace and enjoy every day that GOD gives and if your heart is preparing for that rainey day believe me that day will come take all that you saved for and never see the beauties of this life johnny ps please forgive me i have had negative feedback on paragraphs and ending and beginning sentences but i don't know how | | |
| my oldest daughter came up for lunch yesterday and told a story of a liitle girl by her mother that went to her church. the mom has two daughter four and six years of age. mom said the little four year old had diarrhea for about two days. she said when the diarrhea first started the little girl came running in the house screaming to her mom that she was throwing up out of her butt. children will say the darndest things johnny | | |
| i read about people who went to school with people in school that were popular and ran with the in crowd that enjoyed later in life about hearing of their failures because they wasn't a part of the in crowd. when i went to school i wasn't a part of the in crowd nor was i even interested in school or the in crowd. but as a young boy i regonized and knew that some of the men and ladies in my classes would someday grow up and accomplish a lot in life. these popular ones put the extra effort in study, athletes, being popular (which means to me friendly and out going) even though i didn't run in their group nor was invited to their social functions most still were friendly to me even though i wasn't invited into their groups. after having two daughters of my own i don't blame the young ladies that keep a distance from some thug or idiot that would in the end bring them down. now i can happily say that i am proud to have gone to school with doctors, nurses, teachers, lawyers, a mayor, businessmen and even one lady that went on to become a dean of a college. i dated some girls that i lost contact with that i know in my heart went on and accomplished much in their lives and some that didn't but i don't get any pleasure or satisfactions of their failures. just think if we all fail where would we be? ps in the previous post the en-tr'ee i spoke about most of the time you will see them laying flat pressed in the middle of the road johnny | | |
| lived in the south all my life and i truly love to cook and i do have many a good receipes. tonight our en-tr'ee will be didelphis virginiana. first of all after catching our main course put her (use the her's because the him's are too tough) in a cage and grain feed her for three days to clean her out good. dress her out real good and take her to the kitchen (needs a lot of water to clean her up). take a large baking pan and place her in the middle of the pan. then take un-peeled sweet potatoes and line them around her in the pan, season to taste , can use garlic. take a large piece of foil and cover her and the sweet potatoes real tight so the moisture will cook the sweet potatoes. then put the platter in the oven and cook at 375 degrees for six hours. take the platter out of the oven place on the table unwrap and throw her out the back door for the dogs to eat and you serve the sweet potatoes to your guest. you will notice the dogs will come buy ever so ofter and smell of her, lift their legs on her and walk off. after about two days of this throw her in the gully for the buzzards to eat (whom also won't show up) after all your guess have made excuses to leave early you can also throw the sweet potatoes out the back door and go get a jr. whopper. johnny | | |
| I USED TO HAVE ANOTHER SITE ON XANGA BUT I HAD A BAD HABIT OF TO LONG OF A POST AND GOT A LOT OF COMPLAINTS AND I HOPE THIS ONE WILL NOT FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY. EVERYONE HAS A CRAZY IN THEIR FAMILY AND I ALSO HAVE ONE BUT I WAS NOT SATISFIED WITH MINE AND MY BEST FRIENDS ALSO HAD ONE THAT WAS A HUNDRED TIMES CRAZIER THAN MINE. AND I WAS SO JEALOUS OF THEM AND I WANTED THEIRS SO MUCH THAT I HAD TO ADOPT THEIR UNCLE BECAUSE HE WAS THE GREATEST CRAZY OF ALL TIMES AND I JUST HAD TO HAVE HIM FOR MY VERY OWN. I WILL USE FAKE NAMES TO PROTECT THE GUILTY. SO MY ADOPTED CRAZY WAS NAMED UNCLE CRAZY. UNCLE CRAZY HAD A NEPHEW I WILL CALL HALF-CRAZY, NO MAKE THAT CRAZY NUMBER TWO. CRAZY NUMBER TWO SERVED DUTY IN VIET NAM AND GOT INTO DRUGS AND BAD THINGS OVER THERE AND BROUGHT ALL HIS KNOWLEDGE BACK HOME TO OUR SMALL TOWN WHICH IS SO SMALL THAT WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A RED LIGHT EVEN UNTIL THIS DAY. CRAZY NUMBER TWO KNEW HIS DRUGS AND HE INTRODUCES ALL OF THEM TO OUR SMALL UPSTANDING BAPTIST COMMUNITY AND IT HASN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE. HE WAS THE FIRST TO INTRODUCE QUALUDES TO OUR TOWN AND YOU ALLWAYS KNEW WHEN A SHIPMENT HIT THE STREETS FOR THERE WOULD BE FIGHTS ALL OVER TOWN (WE CALLED THEM GORILLA BISCUITS) I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT THERE WAS 3 FIGHTS AT ONE TIME WITHIN 100 YARDS OF EACH OTHER. FOLKS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A TOWN WITH ONLY A FEW HUNDRED PEOPLE HERE. CRAZY NUMBER TWO FIRST INTRODUCED SPEED, MUSHROOMS, LSD, MEXICAN PARSLEY AND SOME STUFF NOBODY EVEN KNEW WHAT IT WAS. NOW BACK TO MY FAVOTITE ADOPTED UNCLE CRAZY 1- HE WAS A CONNOIS SEUR OF FINES WINES HE DRANK SO MUCH SILVER SATIN, WILD IRIS ROSE AND MAD-DOG 20-20 THAT HE COULD CLOSE HIS EYES, SMELL THE WINE AND TELL WHAT VINTAGE IT WAS, ALSO HE HAD ONE OF THE LARGEST BRIGHEST REDEST NOSES THAT I EVER SAW A MAN CARRY. 2- HE WAS SO INTELLIGENT THAT HE KNEW MORE THAN ANYONE HE EVER HAD A CONSERVATION WITH AND NO ONE COULD TELL HIM ANYTHING. HE CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT PEOPLE WERE SO DUMB THAT THE ONLY PERSON HE COULD HAVE A INTELLIGENT CONSERVATION WITH WAS HIMSELF CAUSING HIM TO GO AROUND MOST OF THE TIME DISCUSSING THINGS WITH HIMSELF. 3- UNCLE CRAZY WAS THE BEST DRIVER I HAVE EVER SEEN (HE COULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT STUNT DRIVER) HE COULD BE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN FLIP IT OVER ON THE SIDE (EITHER SIDE) AND GO ON DOWN THE ROAD, ALSO HE COULD FLIP IT UPSIDE DOWN AND HEAD DOWN THE ROAD UPSIDE DOWN AND GET THIS, THIS IS AMAZING HE COULD DO ALL THESE FEATS OF DRIVING BACKWARDS UPSIDE DOWN AND SIDEWAYS TO. HE ALSO COULD FLIP THE CAR BACK ON ITS WHEELS FROM THE SIDE OR EVEN THE TOP NOW ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE WHY I WANTED HIM AS MY FAVORITE ADOPTED CRAZY UNCLE. 4- UNCLE CRAZY ALSO WAS A GREAT CHEMIST HE HAD A GREAT TALENT AND ABILITY TO DISTILL SPIRITS OUT OF ALMOST ANYTHING LIKE BAY RUM, CAN HEAT, SHOE POLISH, WILD LOCAST, TOMATO SCAT, WILD CHERRIES, SUR-LAY, HAIRLIFE YOU COULD GIVE HIM 5 POUNDS OF SUGAR AND A PACK OF YEAST AND A APPLE AND HE WOULD GET THE JOB DONE . 5-I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU JUST ONE MORE OF HIS TALENTS WHICH HE HAD MANY OF AND THAT OF HOW HE MASTERED THE KING'S ENGLISH WHICH CONSISTED MOSTLY OF IF HE ADDRESS A MALE MOSTLY HE WOULD ADDRESS THEM AS A MALE DECENDANT OF A FEMALE DOG AND TO THE LADIES HE WOULD ADDRESS THEM AS THE FEMALE DOG AND THAT WAS MOSTLY WHAT HE HAD TO SAY A MAN OF FEW WORDS BUT YOU KNEW WHAT HE THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN HE WAS DONE. . NOW FINISHING UP, UNCLE CRAZY AND CRAZY NUMBER TWO GOT TOGETHER ONE DAY AND THEY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING TO LIFT THEIR SPIRITS SO CRAZY NUMBER TWO TOLD UNCLE CRAZY TO SIT DOWN IN THE FLOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM AT HIS HOUSE AND CRAZY NUMBER TWO REACHED INTO HIS MYSTERY BAG AND PULLED OUT (YOUR GUESS IS GOOD AS MINE) SOMETHING AND TOLD UNCLE CRAZY TO LICK THE PIECE OF PAPER THAT CRAZY NUMBER TWO GAVE HIM. NOW UNCLE CRAZY SAID HE NOTICED NOR FELT ANYTHING FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES AND STARTED TO GET UP AND LEAVE WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE ROOM STARTED SPINNING, THE NEXT THING HE NOTICED WAS THE TV STARTED TOWARDS HIM AND HE DODGED THE TV, LAMPS STARTED FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM AND HE WAS DODGEING THEM, THEN CAME THE SOFA BED, THE MATCHING CHAIR, THE CABINET DOORS OPENED AND CAN GOODS CAME TOWARDS HIM, THE SILVERWARE, CLOTHES OUT OF THE CLOSET HE HAD TO DODGE THE COMODE , AND THE ROOM WAS FILLED WITH ALIENS BUT UNCLE CRAZY COULDN'T MOVE AND GET UP OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR, HE WAS FROZE TO THE FLOOR. THEN THE CARPET COVERED HIM AND TRIED TO SMOTHER HIM. THEM HE SAID HE THOUGHT ALL WAS OVER AND HE WAS SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED AND WAS TRYING TO COME BACK TO HIMSELF, AND HE WAS STARING AT THE WALL AND THE WALLS STARTED TO BREATHE IN AND OUT AND CAME ALIVE AND THE WALL STARTED TOWARDS HIM TO EAT HIM ALIVE AND THAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT HE REMEMBERED. THAT WAS UNCLE CRAZY FIRST EXPERIENCE AND HIS LAST WITH DRUGS. HE TOLD CRAZY NUMBER TWO THAT HE WAS CRAZY (ALSO A MALE DECENDANT OF A FEMALE DOG) AND DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH HIM. HE SAID FROM THEN ON HE WOULD STICK TO HIS VINTAGE WINES WHICH HE DID TILL HE DIED . MAYBE UNCLE CRAZY WASN'T QUITE AS CRAZY AS I THOUGHT WHAT DO YOU THINK?
JOHNNY | | |
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